Marian Librarian Reviews Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

I have declared it Circus Week!

Why?  Because it is National Novel Writing Month and two of the biggest NaNo success stories happen to be about Circuses: The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern and Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen.  (Take note, Nano'ers.  Circus books for all of us next year!)*

(*Don't actually do this.)

I'm going to be honest, every time I approach an "adult book" these days, especially a "bestseller," I feel trepidation.  I think it's because I've had some truly awful experiences with adult fiction and bestsellers (The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay and Devil Wears Prada stand out for me.)  So, when I went into the Youth Services field I engrossed myself in YA and Juvenile literature, feeling like I was behind and could never read enough of it anyway (I still feel this way.)  My whole outlook on reading changed then.  I was actually enjoying things I read.  I'd found a home in YA lit.

A few months ago, I started to hear about The Night Circus.  First, I heard of it because it was a NaNo success story even before it was released, and as a NaNo'er I appreciate every one of us who take 50,000 desperately typed-out words and turn them into something amazing.

Then I started to hear about it from the YA community because it was going to be placed in YA sections, then graduated to adult but branded "has crossover appeal."

Interesting that this book seemed to beckon out to me just like the Night Circus itself does, with word of mouth and an image of circus tents in striking black and white.  I got on the hold list for it and was already number 257 in line at the library, but I cut ahead of everyone by spying a non-requestable Best-Seller copy on the shelf.

The Night Circus gave me everything I want to fall in love with in a book.  A beautiful setting and atmosphere, lovers who make your heart ache with them, mystery and intrigue that keeps you turning page after page, and, of course, a little magic.

It was a book that I devoured and wished I hadn't so that I could have savored it longer.  It's a world that I did not wish to shut the back cover on.

The story follows the life of the mysterious and fantastic Night Circus and the lives that are entwined in it.  I say the life of the circus, because it's the true main character that seems to live and breathe on its own, rather than just a setting.  The magic and splendor in this Circus isn't just sleight of hand, it's real.  Dreams conjured by dreamers for dreamers; two magicians locked in a high-stakes game.  A lot of fantasy demands a limit or price to magic.  These magicians do pay a price for their magic but anything they wish to make happen- living carousels, cloud-filled playgrounds, exotic labyrinths -they bring to life.  I understand "price of magic" philosophy but here, it was refreshing to see that any dream could take shape.

I know this review has been more like a love letter to this book, so I'll get down to the nitty-gritty briefly.  The narrative moves forward and backward in time from scene to scene, picking up threads of different characters at different parts of their lives.  This causes a build in tension but does, at one very brief point, added frustration because there were times where it cut to characters I didn't find as compelling when I desperately wanted to follow another storyline.  Sometimes I find books that use this frame tiresome because they use it as a thinly veiled device to hold off the climax.  However, this book was certainly not the worse offender.  One other gripe is a main character, Bailey, is meant to be an ordinary kid in an extrordinary world, but I think that point was driven too far because I never connected to him.

These are minor problems in any book, but are especially forgettable in such a fast read.  I have heard some complain about the lengthy descriptions in this book, but I frankly don't know what they're talking about.  The descriptions are brush strokes, touches that help you fill in the rest with your imagination.  The movie rights have already been sold and I know people are already a twitter about it.  I almost not, because I love the world Morgenstern helped me to see in my own imagination.

A big part of growing up is seeing through magic, realizing that magicians are just fancy liars with pulleys and mirrors.  The ciricus loses its luster, becomes a lie and illusion.  This jaded adult reader was glad to step into a world where the magic is as real and shiny as ever.

Bruce Campbell Week Part Three: Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way

Shhh.

I'm whispering because I don't want Bruce Campbell to hear this.

Especially since we're best friends now after he retweeted my previous blog entry.  (Allow me my delusions.)

I wish I had loved: Make Love!*  *the Bruce Campbell Way.

But I didn't.

It's all had such promise.  Bruce Campbell on the cover dressed as he was in that awesome Old Spice commercial (see below).  A comedy novel by the King of the B-list about a B-list actor trying to get off of the B-list.  I loved If Chins Could Kill.  I liked Man with the Screaming Brain.  I love Bruce Campbell. What could go wrong?

The thing about Make Love!* *the Bruce Campbell way is that while it is fictionalized, real people's names are used: Renee Zellweger, Richard Gere, Mike Nichols, Christopher Plummer.  Bruce Campbell is "himself" (one prays the real Bruce acts nothing like this).  I suppose the idea was that they're celebrities, so how do we really know if they're acting out of character right?

Well, we know they're acting out of character because no one on God's green earth talks are behaves the way that this book portrays.

I know that, as I read the book, I was supposed to shut off my brain and enjoy the zaniness.  I couldn't.  I knew too much that what I was reading was completely contrived and unfunny.  In fact, it made me cringe.  Have ever wanted to see Bruce Campbell -not a character, but the man himself- doing things so moronic that it made you embarrassed for him?  Me neither.

Someone on Amazon said it's like he wrote a fan-fic of himself and I have to agree.

I still love Bruce Campbell but when it comes to his fiction novels...his films and autobiography are very entertaining.  Leave this one lie.

Bruce Campbell Week Part Two: Man with the Screaming Brain (Comic)

Today, we discuss the great Bruce Campbell as a comic book writer.

In 1986, Bruce Campbell was a man with a dream.

His dream was to make a corny, 1950s style science fiction flick.  And in 2005, that dream became a reality.  (Yes, it took 19 years.)  Man with the Screaming Brain was born.

The Man with the Screaming Brain is talked about a little in If Chins Could Kill, though I've never been entirely sure why this was the story that Campbell lobbied for for years.  Not that it's bad.  It's exactly what you're expecting from a campy scifi-picture show movie.  I just think it's an interesting insight on Bruce Campbell that this is the story that he felt called to share with the world.  My kind of guy.

He felt so called to share this story with the world that, in addition to the movie, there is a comic book version released by Dark Horse comics.

I read the comic book before I watched the movie.  Campbell says of the comic:
"I'm calling the comic a 'director's cut,' mainly because it doesn't cost you more to set the scene at the edge of a cool cliff, or at night like it does in the movies.  The comic is closer to what the original intent was - dark and noir-like."

The Plot: Campbell plays William Cole, who travels with his unsatisfied wife Jackie to Bulgaria to oversee some business interests there.  They meet former KGB-turned cab driver Yegor and when they run afoul of the murderess gypsy Tatoya, she kills all three of them.  Luckily, Bulgaria's friendly neighborhood mad scientists are there to place part of Yegor's brain in place of the damaged part of Cole's brain, and Jackie is placed in the body of a robot.  The two halves of the brain work together to get their revenge.

I'm a huge MST3K fan, so all I could think about as I read this story was of the movie The Atomic Brain, where there's a man with a dog brain, a woman with a cat brain, a girl with a dead brain (zombie), and an old woman's brain in a cat.  I like these mad scientists who don't believe in waste, no brains or usable body parts left behind.

Because of that, I feel the story accomplishes everything it set out to do; it feels just like a cheesy 1950s scifi movie.  The comic is a fun read, though I think you just have to pair it with a watching of the movie, because it's Bruce Campbell's delivery and facial expressions that really sell it, though the comic does have an awesome look to it.

I give it 4 misplaced-brains out of 5!

Bruce Campbell Week! Part One: If Chins Could Kill

It's November, a time to look back on all our blessings to reflect on what we're thankful for.

This Mild-Manner Librarian is thankful for Bruce Campbell.

Bruce Campbell is the second man I ever loved.  The first was the Red Power Ranger, Jason, and, in hindsight, that was just lust.  The first time I looked at a boy and thought, "Hey, he isn't icky."

Then I started watching a leather-pants clad Bruce Campbell in "The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr." and there was a new man in my life.

 > 

Side by side comparison, there is not contest.

Unlike the Red Power Ranger, my love for Bruce Campbell endures to this day.

But what does this have to do with books, Librarian Blogger, you may ask?

Well, my friends, the mighty Bruce Campbell is not just a god among actors, he's also an auteur.  And I'm reviewing three of his works this week.

Now, I'm not a horror gal for the most part, so my exposure to Bruce Campbell had mainly been limited to Brisco, then Xena and Hercules, the sadly short-lived Jack of All Trades, then later his appearances in the Spiderman Movies and finally Burn Notice.  Evil Dead what now?

It took me a while to hear about Evil Dead, and then there was a long time that I just felt an overwhelming guilt as a Bruce Campbell fan for not having seen it.  Then, I came across a co-worker who loved Bruce Campbell as I did, and she loaned me his book: If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B-Movie Actor.  I never returned this book. (Sorry Carrie. I also lost the book and bought another one, then found out that her copy was in the Take a Book, Leave a Book area at my work at the time, so the Bruce Campbell joy continues to be passed on!)

In, If Chins Could Kill, one of the highlights is the section on the making of Evil Dead.  How they did so much with so little, how Campbell would come home every morning dowsed in syrupy fake blood while church goers would stare at him, and, of course, detailed notes about "Shemping" a low budget movie.

If Chins Could Kill came out in 2001, so if you haven't read it I don't know what the hell you're waiting for.  Still, there could be unenlightened among us who have not read it just as someone who counts Bruce Campbell as her second love didn't watch Evil Dead until the late 2000s (shame face).  I suggest it for Bruce Campbell fans, diehard or otherwise, but also for the beginning film-maker.  You get to see the ingenuity that went into making a horror movie on no budget.  Also, you see how Hercules and Xena basically home-grew a film industry in New Zealand.  There's a lot to learn from his sections about almost being "The Phantom" and the desperate attempts to keep Brisco on the air, which included Rodeo visits.  It's a fun, delightful read.  Also, there are pictures.  Pictures of Bruce Campbell.

And, after reading all about the making of Evil Dead.  I got the courage to watch it, figuring that since I knew all the behind the scenes info I wouldn't be scared.  Finally, I could be a true Bruce Campbell fan!

I didn't sleep at all that night.

I give If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B-movie Actor 5 chins out of five.

All Hallow's Read: Zombie Book Round-Up

There are about 600 billion Zombie books out there.  I believe that's an exact figure.  I read a lot of them, but the universe keeps throwing more and more out there.  Some say it's because we are a consumer society and zombies are the ultimate consumers, a morality tale of our fate as a people.  Some say that the zombie hoard is unstoppable and inescapable terror.  Others just think zombies are pretty cool.


Here's a list of my favorite and not-so-favorite Zombie Reads:


Love it:


Breathers: A Zombie's Lament by S.G. Browne

I've already discussed this comedy were self-aware zombies live afterlives of outcasts and attend support groups here.


Zombie Haiku by Ryan Mecum

Don't read it when you're eating pasta for dinner, like I did.


Zombies for Kids and Teens:


Zombies vs Unicorns by Various Authors, Edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier

This book is a who's who of the greatest YA authors out there.  Children of the Revolution by Maureen Johnson is my favorite zombie story in it.


Zombie Chasers by John Kloepfer

Funny little zombie story with great-gross out illustrations and a zombie dog!


Leave it:


Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austin and Seth Grahame-Smith

Jane Austin + Zombies.  Awesome, right?  Surprisingly terribly dull.  A one-note joke that goes to bathroom humor once it know it goes stale.


The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan

Two people in love held apart more by their own inaction and self-absorption than anything.  Romeo and Juliet they are not.  Zombies are a backdrop to teen angst, and in the end I was rooting for the zombies.


That's a little cruel.  I was absorbed by this book until I reached the end, and then it left me sour grapes.


The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks

Reads like a technical manual, which is really the only joke.  Isn't it funny that this book is so serious and is about zombies?  It isn't.  I couldn't finish it.


Recommended to me but haven't checked out:


Feed by Mira Grant


Zombie, Ohio by Scott Kenemore


Zombiekins by Kevin Bolger


The Walking Dead by Robert Kirkman, Charlie Adlard, Cliff Rathburn and Tony Moore


So what are your feelings?  Any of the recommended reads I should avoid or add?  Any of my picks you disagree with?  Are you sick of zombies?


Just remember, Zombie's Were People too.

All Hallow's Read: A Tribute to Frankenstein

Yesterday I got my, "Heroine of Literature" Mary Shelley shirt from thinkgeek.com, and it got me thinking about my difficult relationship relationship with her crowning work.

I first read Frankenstein by Mary Shelley when I was in middle school and I felt it was cool to read harder books than my peers were reading.  This did not result in me being cool, but it did result in my reading a lot of classics as a young person that I would not have the patience for today, all because I stubbornly wanted to prove I could.

Frankenstein was a real slog for me then.  The Victorian language and difficult to like protagonist (because Victor Frankenstein is the protagonist) were hard for me to swallow, but I kept on because I stubbornly refuse to be defeated by a book.  (I've had mixed results with this way of thinking.)

(I adore the ultra-cheesy cover of the copy I read as a kid. It also had a "2 for $1" sticker on it)

I was fairly miserable reading Frankenstein.  Victor Frankenstein gets consumed by the idea of making his creation, taking parts from corpses of animals and human, which makes it unnaturally-sized.  I don't know why it takes the moment that he's given life to the thing for him to realize it is not a beautiful thing, but ugly and terrible, but it does.  So begins a recurring theme in the book.  Victor gets himself in over his head, shirks his responsibility, and lies in bed sick.  I think Victor Frankenstein is probably one of the most sickly characters in literature.  After every tense moment in the book, the bastard ends up in a sickbed having people look after him, comforting him.  He's a deadbeat dad, whiny, premadonna.

The Creature himself makes the move from compassionate character to serial killer in the book as well.  He is smart, and articulate.  He's not the shuffling, mindless corpse that we have come to see him in the media today.  He's cold, calculating, fast, and strong.  He shares a lot in common with the Immortals we see in literature today, vampires and the like, but he is not beautiful like they are.

It was such a challenging read to watch two men consumed.  Victor makes missteps constantly.  The Creature makes terrible choices and is forced into them as well.  When Dr. Frankenstein makes his Creature a bride on the promise that they will go away forever and leave him alone, then tears it apart when he sees how happy his creation is about getting a companion, I about lost it.  What the hell, Victor?  Can't a guy have a lady?

So like I said, I found reading the thing miserable.  It was hard for me to get through both because it was challenging my reading skills and because it is such a dark tale.  When it was finished, however, I was so happy I'd read it.  Not because it's a happy ending because obviously that was never in the cards, but because I was happy that such a book existed in this world and that Mary Shelley brought it to us.

Mary Shelley hung out with the rock stars of the Victorian literary scene: Byron and Percy Byshe Shelley, among others.  There was a whole lot of free love going on in that group, though she loved only her husband.  Like many Victorians she'd seen a lot of death, lost several children, and was obsessed with it as the Victorians were.  She made a brilliant tortured immortal, far more sympathetic than whiny Louis, callous Lestat, directionless Dracula, or, dare I even mention Sparkly Edward.  I even like those guys (well, not Louis or Edward) but I don't love them the way I love Frankenstein's monster.  (Yeah, I'm that girl who will correct you.  He never takes his creators name.)

Say what you will about Kenneth Branaugh's critically panned bit of opulence, Frankenstein.  Branaugh has always put the text in the forefront, and I think he was trying to tear down our notions of a mindless, stumbling corpse.  Frankenstein was a well-spoken, superhuman out for vengeance.  In this day and age, he'd have a comic book.

Classics are one of those things that people know they should read but don't actually do.  I understand, I closed the books on classics after college.  But read Frankenstein. Prepare yourself some mega-angst and a main character who faints as much as a Victorian lady without the excuse of a corset blocking his airflow, but read it anyway.

All Hallows Read: Breathers: A Zombie's Lament by S.G. Browne

Happy All Hallow's Read!

It's a graveyard smash as I review monster books and have monster Storytime tips all month long.

I don't really know how it's much different from the rest of the year because I read monster books then as well.

I've got to get cracking because I've already lost a chunk of the month after I fell off the side of the world post Pirate and Banned Books Week.  I won't be posting everyday usually, but you can more look for my posts Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday.  Now that I've said that schedule aloud, I'll either totally fail to stick with it or be shamed into doing it.  We'll see.

I figured I'd start with reposting the video book review I did to get on the cast of SpineBreakers, the podcast I contribute to on ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com.  This is the video that convinced me that I would never do another video. I'm sure that is inspiring you to press that play button, but I don't actually hate the video that much (except for that stumble I have at the end and the sound of my own voice).  I just realized that I am not a film maker, even when the film is just pictures with voice over.

But the good thing is this video did help me get on SpineBreakers and was noticed by the author himself, who've I've spoken to a few times online and find to be a pretty cool guy.  By posting this again, he might think I'm stalking him.  I'll just assure his lawyer here that I'm just lauding his book again because I think it's one of the best zombie reads out there, which I think is actually pretty difficult to achieve since I've read a few dogs.  Even if you don't check out the video review, check out the book this October.

Pirate Librarian Book Review: Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters by Jane Austen and Ben H. Winters

For my last Pirate week entry, I have an adult Book.  (I read grown-up stuff on occasion).  A Piratey yarn and Jane Austen Mash-up, Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters by Jane Austen and Ben H. Winters.




Sense and Sensibility, though being a popular Austen novel, is often eclipsed by the juggernaut that is Pride and Prejudice. Perhaps it’s because of the plot?  The plot of P&P is as follows:

• There are two sisters.  Actually there are three more sisters, but no one cares about them.
• One sister is brash and sassy, and the other sister is quiet and shy.
• The sassy one has a rich, shy guy fall for her, but she hates him.
• She instead falls for a scoundrel who breaks her heart.
• The quiet sister has a rich, sweet guy fall for her but he doesn’t marry her for plot convenience issues. 
• In the end, the sassy girl realizes she does love the shy guy and marries him. 
• The quiet sister marries the sweet guy because he didn’t really have that good a reason not to marry her anyway.

So that is Jane Austen’s famous Pride and Prejudice!  You’ve probably seen it before because it’s been redone a million times in various different ways.

Now, here is the plot of Sense and Sensibility:

• There are two sisters.  Actually there is one more sister, but no one cares about her.
• One sister is brash and sassy, and the other sister is quiet and shy.
• The sassy one has a rich, shy guy fall for her, but she hates him.
• She instead falls for a scoundrel who breaks her heart.
• The quiet sister has a rich, sweet guy fall for her but he doesn’t marry her for plot convenience issues. 
• In the end, the sassy girl realizes she does love the shy guy and marries him. 
• The quiet sister marries the sweet guy because he didn’t really have that good a reason not to marry her anyway.

Clearly Austen knew she had the formula to make the ladies swoon and went with it.

But enough about Austen, you want to hear about Sea Monsters.

Much like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, some strange event has transpired to make the Austen universe topsy turvy. In this story it is called “The Alteration” and it has made every creature of the sea, from humpback whale to sea snail, evil.  Maybe evil isn’t the word, just out to destroy all humanity.  This is the backdrop to the plot described (twice) above.

The main characters, the Dashwood sisters and their mother, must relocate to an island because they have been kicked out of their house after their father was half eaten by a hammerhead shark.

So, effectively, they move from a large island (England) surrounded by sea life that wants to kill them to a much smaller island surrounded by sea life that wants to kill them.  But I’ll get back to that.

Are there sea monster fights?  Yes.  There is a giant octopus attack, sea serpents, and a giant lobster attack.  Is it good action? Eh, it’s as good as you can ask for.

The book does suffer from the same issue that Pride and Prejudice and Zombies in that people continue polite conversation while people die and horrible creatures attack.  This is meant to be funny, and sometimes is, but often leads the reader to wonder when Austen’s beloved characters became sociopaths.

For example, instead of going to London as they do in the book, the Dashwood sisters go to Sub-Marine Station Beta, which is an underwater city in a large protective dome.  During their stay, evil swordfish (not something I get to type everyday) come and start tapping on the dome repeated in a spot on the Sisters’ window, eventually causing it to crack.  At one point, the sisters are having a conversation in their sitting room while a maintenance guy goes out in a dive suit to repair the crack.  The man is then attacked by the swordfish, struggles for his life, and then is gored to death, all as the Dashwood sisters chat and drink their tea.  Did the Alteration make all the fish evil AND all the people doucebags?

Eventually, the legions of swordfish with the help of a Narwhal destroy the dome and kill thousands of people, something I could have never predicted in a reality where all the fish are EVIL!

This brings me to my big problem with this book.  England is an island, so they’ve always had a close tie to the sea making “The Alteration” pretty inescapable.   Still, we don’t have an underwater city now, so why would they build one in an ocean that wants to kill you?!  (It’s not as though our own, not-evil ocean isn’t treacherous enough.) 

Everyone in this book has a water-related occupation: there is a deep sea diver, sailors, pirates, lighthouse watchers.  All facets of life-art, entertainment, fashion, transportation, economy- are Ocean-centric.  People wear wet suits, sing sea shanties, and ride tame dolphins.  You know what I would do in a world where the ocean had turned against us?  Stay away from the freaking ocean!

(Brody says, "Get out of the water!)

And don’t tell me not to bring logic into a fantasy world with sea monsters because that’s bull.  Anything that distracts the reader from enjoying the story is the author’s job to address.

It’s impossible not to compare this book to Pride and Prejudice and Zombies because just as Jane Austen followed the same formula for S&S, Ben H. Winters follows Seth Graham-Smith’s formula to a T.  Sea Monsters instead of Zombies.  Pirates instead of Ninjas.

(The Pirates’ scene fizzles quickly and is not as awesome as one would think.  I felt the same about the Ninjas in the other book)

The fact remains, these books are not as funny as they think they are.  They are amusing and quirky, but NEVER did I laugh out loud with either of them.

Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters doesn’t try so hard to be funny as P&P&Z did.  I appreciate that there is far less bodily function humor in this book (less, but it is still there).  It’s also far more imaginative than P&P&Z.  Winters more convincingly creates a different world, and blends it a little better to the Austen one.  More settings and situations are changed and the world is more thoroughly built.  The story ALMOST feels like it was always written this way, while P&P&Z feels like a bad cut and paste job with an Austen library book, Shawn of the Dead, and a Kung fu movie.  (Just kidding, Shawn of the Dead was much too funny to be associated with it.)

Let’s sum this all up.  Despite the glaring issue that no one has the sense to stay away from the ocean that’s trying to kill them, I liked this story better that Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.  Still, I’m not sure I would recommend either one for the following reasons:

1. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies isn’t funny enough.
2. Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters is at least quirkier and more creative.
3. Still, if you’re going to subject yourself to either, you should probably read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies since it's nearly a phenomenon by now.
4. See reason 1.

Also, keep in mind that by reading this book, you’ll still be reading Jane Austen.  And if she's not your cup of tea (Gentlemen), I don't think that any amount of Zombies, Ninjas, Sea Monsters or Pirates will make it better for you.

Wish I had loved it: Capt. Hook by J.V. Hart; Illustrated by Brett Helquist

Here was the promise of all things good in the world.

A book about Captain Hook, written by the screenwriter of the movie Hook, and illustrated by Brett Helquist.

This blog has only been up for a few days and I’ve already proclaimed my love of Peter Pan, the movie “Hook,” and the illustrations of Brett Helquist; so I was there.

Neverland is purposefully set up to be every kid’s dream.  Yes, it’s tailored a little more to boys interests what with the pirates and Indians, but there are also mermaids and fairies there, not to mention that these days you’ll find as many girls who love pirates as boys.  Problem with Neverland is that Peter Pan is in it, and he’s sort of a jerk.  All kids are jerks around Peter Pan’s age, but we don’t like to know it.  I’m sure that I’m not the only one who saw Captain Hook in his smashing pirate garb and thought, “I think I might be on his side.”  The movie “Hook” only re-enforced this, because Peter Pan was an even bigger jerk in that movie and Dustin Hoffman played a cool, humorous, charismatic Hook.  I even remember trying to make “Bad form” happen as a catchphrase at my school. (So cool, I know.)

So why didn’t I love this book?  I desperately wanted to.  The story follows the School Age years of James Matthew, the illegitimate son of Lord Byron, at Eton School.  The Eton section is long with a lot of boarding school hazing, Eton ritual, and general Britishness going on.  Some people felt that would be a turn off for young American readers, but it certainly didn’t bother an Anglophile like me.

The main problem with the book isn’t the setting, the future Captain Hook himself.  He’s a proud, arrogant character, phased by nothing.  I’m certain this was done on purpose, paralleling Peter Pan himself.  Thing is, because he is phased by nothing, there is no real conflict.  It’s like playing pretend with a friend who is God-moding the whole time.

“You can’t beat me; now I’m the greatest swordfighter in the world.”

It all gets very dull because nothing seems to be a challenge or excite this character who I would also describe as a sociopath.  Even Peter Pan, arrogant and fearless as he was, bit off more than he could chew sometimes and was humbled a bit by it.  I think this is the main reason the pace feels so slow, not because of wordiness or bad setting but because one doesn’t desire to keep reading about him.

Also, this uber-capable Captain Hook confuses me, doesn’t this guy spend the rest of his life fighting an enemy half his age to no avail?  I love Captain Hook, but let’s face it, he’s a bit of a loser.

Helquist’s name is featured prominently on the cover but don’t look for his illustrations to save you some word count, there are far less than in the average Lemony Snicket book.  You can count them on one hand.

I think what happened is that J.V. Hart fell as much in love with his “Hook” character as I did when I was a kid, and wanted to give him a heroic back story (which he frankly doesn’t need/deserve).

Bad form, J.V. Hart.  Bad form.