Wish I had loved it: Capt. Hook by J.V. Hart; Illustrated by Brett Helquist

Here was the promise of all things good in the world.

A book about Captain Hook, written by the screenwriter of the movie Hook, and illustrated by Brett Helquist.

This blog has only been up for a few days and I’ve already proclaimed my love of Peter Pan, the movie “Hook,” and the illustrations of Brett Helquist; so I was there.

Neverland is purposefully set up to be every kid’s dream.  Yes, it’s tailored a little more to boys interests what with the pirates and Indians, but there are also mermaids and fairies there, not to mention that these days you’ll find as many girls who love pirates as boys.  Problem with Neverland is that Peter Pan is in it, and he’s sort of a jerk.  All kids are jerks around Peter Pan’s age, but we don’t like to know it.  I’m sure that I’m not the only one who saw Captain Hook in his smashing pirate garb and thought, “I think I might be on his side.”  The movie “Hook” only re-enforced this, because Peter Pan was an even bigger jerk in that movie and Dustin Hoffman played a cool, humorous, charismatic Hook.  I even remember trying to make “Bad form” happen as a catchphrase at my school. (So cool, I know.)

So why didn’t I love this book?  I desperately wanted to.  The story follows the School Age years of James Matthew, the illegitimate son of Lord Byron, at Eton School.  The Eton section is long with a lot of boarding school hazing, Eton ritual, and general Britishness going on.  Some people felt that would be a turn off for young American readers, but it certainly didn’t bother an Anglophile like me.

The main problem with the book isn’t the setting, the future Captain Hook himself.  He’s a proud, arrogant character, phased by nothing.  I’m certain this was done on purpose, paralleling Peter Pan himself.  Thing is, because he is phased by nothing, there is no real conflict.  It’s like playing pretend with a friend who is God-moding the whole time.

“You can’t beat me; now I’m the greatest swordfighter in the world.”

It all gets very dull because nothing seems to be a challenge or excite this character who I would also describe as a sociopath.  Even Peter Pan, arrogant and fearless as he was, bit off more than he could chew sometimes and was humbled a bit by it.  I think this is the main reason the pace feels so slow, not because of wordiness or bad setting but because one doesn’t desire to keep reading about him.

Also, this uber-capable Captain Hook confuses me, doesn’t this guy spend the rest of his life fighting an enemy half his age to no avail?  I love Captain Hook, but let’s face it, he’s a bit of a loser.

Helquist’s name is featured prominently on the cover but don’t look for his illustrations to save you some word count, there are far less than in the average Lemony Snicket book.  You can count them on one hand.

I think what happened is that J.V. Hart fell as much in love with his “Hook” character as I did when I was a kid, and wanted to give him a heroic back story (which he frankly doesn’t need/deserve).

Bad form, J.V. Hart.  Bad form.

Pirate Librarian: Sea Shanties

Pirate Songs to go with your Pirate Storytime:

I put in anywhere from 3 to 8 songs per storytime, depending on the age group, the availability, and the length of songs on the subject I’m reading about.  People often ask, “How do you get kids to sit still for storytime?” The answer is, “I don’t.”  Active songs bring a kinesthetic aspect for storytime and break up the “sit still and shut up” aspect of storytime.

The main reason I like to include Roger the Jolly Pirate by Brett Helquist in my storytime, because you can use the words to "What would you do with a drunken sailor?" in a kids storytime.  They get to sing a real sea shanty without, you know, the alcoholism.  The words and the tune are in the back of  Helquist’s book, but here is the first verse:

"Oh What shall we do with our Jolly Roger?

What shall we do with our Jolly Roger?

Oh What shall we do with our Jolly Roger?

Ear-ly in the morning.

Way-hey, up she rises,

Way-hey, up she rises,

Way-hey, up she rises,

Dreaded Jolly Roger."

It goes on like that, with each verse about parts of the story. Ask the children what happened and introduce the verses lyrics that way. Usually, a parent will answer but really try to encourage the kids to.  Narrative skills (recalling a story just read in narrative form) is a skill they will use the rest of their lives.

 The Hokey Pokey is an awesome song because it is one of the easiest Piggy-back songs there is.  I would be ashamed with how many times I've used the hokey pokey when I've gotten into a spot with Preschool-friendly songs, but I can't bring myself to be. (Repetition is good for learning right?) 

Here's the Pirate Pokey:

 "You put your right hook in, you put your right hook out, you put your right hook in and you shake it all about. You do the pirate pokey and your turn yourself around, that's what it's all about. Pirate Pokey! Arrrrrh!"

Continue with, Left hook, right boot, peg leg, eye patch, pirate hat, whole pirate self. You, of course, turn your hands into hooks, cover your eye for eye patch, put your hands on your head in for hat, and I like to tell them to keep their leg really straight for peg leg, because it's funnier that way.

There are also great Pirate Songs Listed on Born Librarian’s Blog here:

These went over really well at my Pirate Storytime, though I have to say that we replaced a line in “Pirate and you Know it.”   Instead of :

“If you’re a pirate and you know it, then you'll hear the sea winds blowin.”

We said:

“If you’re a Pirate and you know it, then your growl will surely show it.  Yarrrh!”

Another excuse to yell “Yarrrh!” during a storytime is always good I think.

So there you have it.  Pirate books (here) and Pirate songs to make a great Pirate Storytime for your little Pirates.

P is for Pirates: Geekery in Picture Books

Best Pirate Children's Books for Storytime

Every self-respecting Geek knows that International Talk Like a Pirate Day is on September 19th, and even though my pirate accent is absolutely terrible (it turns Southern about midway through, kids don't seem to notice) this week's entries are going to be about Pirates!  First up, my favorite storytime, read-aloud Pirate books.

Now, the Pirate craze is probably on its way out if not over.  I think its rise can be attributed to "Pirates of the Caribbean" and its fall can be attributed to the sequels being absolutely terrible.  The thing about Pirates, however, is that they never really go away.  Pirate Halloween costumes have always been a staple for kids and adults and not just because of Johnny Depp.  My main exposure to pirates growing up stemmed from Peter Pan, more specifically the movie "Hook," which I think I watched 11 million times as a child, even though parts scared the heck out of me.

What is it about kids and Pirates?  There were, and still are, awful human beings who stole, murdered, and pillaged their way through life.  Perhaps we still can't shake that romantic image of sea-fairing life we still might have.  Maybe its the swashbuckling image we've gotten from movies going back as far as Error Flynn.  It could just be the funny hats.  Whatever it is, I like pirates, you probably like pirates, and kids love pirates.

Pirate picture books aren't hard to find, the only tricky thing is finding ones that don't make your preschooler glaze over with boredom because they're too long.  Here are my top pics for a Pirate Storytime.

Small Saul by Ashley Spires

Small Saul wants to live the life of sea-fairing adventure but he's short on size and big on being considerate.  Can he find a way to fit in with his rough and tumble crew?  Great "it's okay to be different story" with a pirate theme.

Roger the Jolly Pirate by Brett Helquist

Very similar story to Small Saul, about a guy who is just too darn Jolly to be a proper pirate.  I love this book because it has the awesome illustrations of Brett Helquist, whom I fell in love with from his work on Lemony Snicket and still adore.  It's a bit long, but I love that there's a song at the end that sums up the story that goes to the tune of "What do you do with a drunken sailor?"  It promotes narrative skills, because you can use it to ask the kids what happened in the book before each verse.  The song is catchy and you can have kids "get their wiggles out" by standing up for the chorus "Way, hey, up she rises."

Pirate Pete's Talk Like a Pirate by Kim Kennedy; Illustrated by Doug Kennedy

The ridiculousness of me, with my terrible Pirate accent, attempting this book, is not lost on me.  However, I still really love the book for the repetition, and it's just plain funny.  Though it's long for a Preschool storytime, the repetition, changing voices, and a parrot impression will make this story a knock out.

Henry and the Pirate Chickens by Carolyn Crimi; Illustrated by John Manders

Carolyn Crimi is fast becoming one of my favorite children's authors.  This book has what I like to call, "Book propaganda," in which the problem is solved with the power of books.  In libraries, schools, and children's lit, "book propaganda" is a pretty oft-used weapon in the arsenal, which I frankly have mixed feelings about (but that is for another blog).  This book had the added benefit, however, of being about Rabbit and Chicken Pirates.  Really, what more could one want?  Also, in Last Starfighter/Independence Day/The Librarian fashion, they are saved by the nerd/bookworm, which is also appreciated.

Honorable Mentions: Peg Leg Peke by Brie Spangler; Pirate vs. Pirate: The Terrific Tale of a Big, Blustery Maritime Match by Mary Quattlebaum, Ill. by Alexandra Boiger

Any other Pirate book favorites that should have gone on the List?